I want a nose job. I’ve been hoping to grow out of the desire to alter my face, but it just ain’t happenin’. I wish I didn’t sit for long periods of time, staring into the mirror with my finger placed just so, lingering over the hump that adorns my schnoz. This is how I like to “try out” my look AFTER I’ve had the surgery I’ve been planning/putting off since the age of 12. I ask myself, sometimes, if I actually think it will alter my whole life….the surgery, you know. I always say no, but mean yes way down deep inside. I love myself, no matter what nose I’m sportin’, but I DO wish it were not quite so long, not quite so, so….humpalicious. It doesn’t impede gardening, which is imperative. It’s not IMPOSSIBLE for me to wear goggles while swimming, but it is a wee bit uncomfortable. I don’t knock people over by a sudden left turn of the neck, but I am still self-conscious about my profile. I would like to be able to cut my hair S.H.O.R.T, and not worry about how big my nose will look. I would like to be able to pull my hair back, Audrey Hepburn style and not think that it was a really bad judgement call.
The older I get, the less I think about it minute by minute, though I’m not sure I’ll ever be 100 50% comfortable with my own face. The problem comes in the cost (financially) more than the physical pain that I know will pass. While I have a deviated septum that makes it difficult for me to breathe from time to time, especially when I have a nasty head cold, my major issue with the whole thing is still the money…. am I taking away something (what?) from my children by doing this for myself? Am I being selfish? Shouldn’t I be feeding the poor somewhere in the world with that money? What to do?
By the way, double cool points for anyone that can name the movie I reference in this particular blog title.. 
7 Comments
July 26, 2008 at 11:29 pm
I feel the same way about my mid-section. If I had a tonne of extra cash lying around, I’ve been pretty open about the fact that I’d go get the fat sucked outta my stomach. It’s not that I’m looking for an alternative to eating healthy and exercising. I actually enjoy exercising (now that I’m back on a roll I’m feeling pretty good about my activity) but I just want to get rid of the fat. Now.
July 27, 2008 at 4:49 am
If I had a really big nose, I think right about now I would be happy that it was detracting attention from my pregnancy butt.
July 27, 2008 at 5:01 am
hey there! i so want a boob job. i already have big boobs, but i want them perky and supply like they used to be. it sure would take away from my other features i don’t like! so love you posts and so understand you must tend to the spawn. we must meet at some point in our lifetimes.
July 27, 2008 at 5:02 am
i just realized i wrote i want my boobs to be supply. i meant supple. too much miller.
July 27, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Heather- my stomach does things now that it never did before children….I think sometimes it can even look up at me and smile. The bastard. I am not a patient person, and as much as I “enjoy” the gym (I just lied to myself AND you) I would trade it in a second for a plastic surgeon who was willing to swan me pro bono.
Emily- GIRLFRIEND! My butt is a totally different problemo. I have a normal sized waist, with an ass that goes out and over for DAYS!!!! There are no pants on the planet that fit my junk. I look like JLO on roids+cellulite.
Gin Baby- Nothing wrong with the Miller OR wanting a suppy of boobs. I just wish Jessica Biel was supplying mine rather than my dead grandmother (imagine tube socks filled with sand with a giant pepperoni on the end). Yeah.
I love you all!
July 28, 2008 at 11:07 pm
go for it. i got a boob redux when I was 18 and I’d love to do it again. Only now I also need a tummy tick
July 28, 2008 at 11:27 pm
ME TOO! Maybe they could take the fat out of my wine sac, then give it to me for upper boobage…. it stays in my body, boobs are fuller, happier, tum tum smaller. Now what about my ass?
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